My Journey into Motherhood

By Francesca Mae White @_the_princess__diaries

Francesca is Mummy to Ariella and Aalayah.

Three years ago today I went in for my very first laparoscopy. And to say I was terrified was a complete understatement, I had been suffering for years, not knowing what was wrong with me, what was happening to my body and what was causing me such excruciating pain.

I had been for continuous appointments with different teams made by different referrals and had undergone numerous tests and scans where I had picked up several diagnoses along the way such as Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS). However, none of these diagnoses had treatment which could help ease my symptoms and make my quality of life better than what it was. I just knew there was something more going on.

After years of waiting around and professionals not knowing what to do to me next, they decided on a laparoscopy. I was told plenty of times that they were not expecting to find anything, but they needed to do it ‘just in case’.

My anxiety was absolutely through the roof, I was more terrified of them not finding anything because then I would be back to square one, but not only that, everyone would look at me as if it was all in my head, just completely made up.

When walking down to theatre I was crying my eyes out, shaking uncontrollably  because I was about to go under anaesthetic for the FIFTH time in my life. But I knew I had to do it just in case there was a chance of them finding something.

They did. They did find something. They found endometriosis. But, it was stage 4. It was everywhere, my ovaries, my tubes, my bladder, my bowel, my pouch of Douglas and even on my pelvic wall.
I was absolutely distraught. But why wasn’t I happy that they actually found something? That I could then prove to people that it wasn’t just in my head, and that I actually had something which I was ‘riddled’ with.

I wasn’t happy because I was told by my gynaecologist that there was no cure for endometriosis and the only thing they could do was offer me excision surgery to try and get rid of it all, however the extent of the endometriosis was so severe and so deep that I was currently infertile. They didn’t have any hope and I was actually offered a hysterectomy at the age of 21. I had no chance of conceiving until I went for ANOTHER surgery to try and clear up my insides.

8 weeks passed and I underwent my second laparoscopy for endometriosis.
This time the surgery was much more severe, they had so much work to do that I was asleep for a fairly long time. They did their best to free me from the disease but nothing is ever 100% effective.
But I tried to stay positive as this was the best chance I had of being able to conceive naturally.
I had to stay in hospital and receive further treatment but I was okay. I was so happy that it was all finally over and that I was on my way to recovery.
I had my follow up appointment from the surgery and they explained how they managed to get rid of the majority of the endometriosis, and my chances of conceiving were now much much higher than before, however there was still a long road ahead and I may still need assistance.

I carried on with the treatment, the medication and all of the needles that I had to have on a monthly basis to keep me going.
But months were still passing of heartache, depression, and anxiety. I was still getting negative pregnancy tests every single time. It was absolutely crushing me.

Until, the 25th April 2019. My life changed completely.

I GOT MY FIRST EVER POSITIVE PREGNANCY TEST IN THREE YEARS!

I was shaking and crying again! But this time for good reasons! I was on cloud nine, absolutely over the moon and I just could not believe it!
I was so excited that I called the doctor straight away to tell them what was happening and they couldn’t believe it either! They were so happy for me! My dream was finally coming true!

I had several scans and blood tests to ensure that the pregnancy was in the right place and to also check that it was progressing! I was so nervous but I was just so hopeful that everything was going to be alright.

Fast forward 3 years from my surgery and I have two of the most beautiful little girls I have ever laid my eyes upon. My daughters, Ariella & Aalayah.

I actually cannot believe this has happened to me, this journey has been so long and unbelievably hard but I’ve done it.
And I’ve had so much support from all of my family and close friends, but the one person I couldn’t possibly have done this without is my partner 🥰

This probably doesn’t mean a lot to many people, but to me it means the whole world. Being a mum is something I have always wanted to be, and having that nearly taken away from me was the most heartbreaking time of my life.

I never would have believed anyone if they told me that one day I would have a family of my own, but here we are! ✨

But miracles do happen, never give up, and always have hope!